Last year, Saybrook was the first residential college to send out assignments. I vividly remember answering my cell phone in Vegas (2013 speechies and debaters, I might have seen you there!). My excited mother proclaimed that I had been anointed a “Say-bruguh-ee-an?”
She was excited because it was more physical evidence that I had actually gotten into Yale (we don’t really trust technology at my house). I was excited because I had heard that Saybrook had a DDR machine, and now I had the opportunity to sharpen my skillz (like skills, but for cool people). [Editor's Note: Ted is not, never was, and never will be cool.]
A year later, my mom has mastered the soft “g”, I’ve realized I am terrible at stepping on brightly colored video game arrows in rhythm, and an email slip-up unwittingly notified the most worthy of the class of 2013 of their college status. First, again.
You would think it gets tiring always being first, the best, the be-all-end-all. But then the freshmen get to rub it in Pierson’s face when everyone trudges back to L-Dub after dinner.
Example: You walk a block to an imposing, gorgeous Gothic castle. They walk through what is generously known as the “ass crack” to what amounts to little more than a Southern plantation.
Example: You are more attractive, have more spacious rooms and dominate the lion’s share of L-Dub. They are cramped into entryways D-F, are less intelligent and have bedbugs.
Example: Your cheer is pithy, powerful and unimpeachable. Theirs is lengthy, monotonous and mind-numbingly lifeless.
So, to every incoming Saybrugian who stumbles upon this blog, welcome to the best four years of your life. I promise they will be better than everyone else’s.
Remember: Our group of randomly assigned students is better than yours.
