The Saybrook Blog

A message for you, Saybrugian:

As winter falls upon us and we prepare for our final examinations, we cast our longing eyes toward the approaching winter recess and the rest and relaxation that it brings. For those of us who will be unwillingly torn from the warm bosom of our college and forced to make the long trek home, this email isn’t so much for you. It is for the brave souls who will be removed from the safety provided by the moat and mortar which protects us all. Upon making your departure for destinations unknown (or known) please remember to unplug all of your things before leaving. This includes things that may seem harmless, like lamps, chargers, TVs, etc.

You may ask, “Why should I unplug all my things, Jawzy Slamz?” Besides the indescribable harm that will be wrought by Emily “Moses Malone” Arntson upon your body in ways that not even ancient texts, film director Michael Bay, or sex-icon John Cusack could possibly describe, killing vampires is a wonderful thing. Now you may wonder how the sentence made any sense what-so-ever. First: I love run-ons, second: killing vampires has nothing to do with the Underworld trilogy, but everything to do with vampire power which is the electricity consumed by appliances left plugged in while they are turned to off, standby, sleep, or any other non full functioning mode. Here is good information in a stupid looking chart for you to reference in terms of what really sucks power. Look Here.

Energy saving check-list before vacating the college:

• Unplug all appliances
• Defrost fridge like champion Nate Scherer:

Unplug fridge

Remove all food

Lay a towel under your fridge to collect water

(Optional) chisel out the frost and ice and throw in your sink, potted plants, or garden

Leave the door open to prevent mold and mildew

• Close all windows and draw your curtains
• Turn your heat all the way down (do not turn the lever to off as this might cause the pipes to burst)

On a more personal note, I want to thank all of those who went tray-less and continue to go tray-less. I am the one who does the awkward counting during random meals and, therefore, I know who you are. Power to you and keep on keepin’ on.

Happy studies, happy procrastination, and happy holidays!

-DJ Jawzy Slamz and Emily Ain’t-Yo-Son

P.S. – Email us at our spanking new email address saybrookstep@gmail.com

P.P.S. – Authors note: Michael Bay did actually direct Meatloaf’s music video for “I Would Do Anything for Love.”