The Saybrook Blog

A Very Cynical Look at Directed Suicide

1. …you love having hundreds of pages of reading to do each week, most of which you will probably never do and will certainly never understand.

The Directed Studies curriculum is designed to give you a basic overview of the humanities: everything from Plato and Aristotle to T. S. Eliot’s “The Wasteland.” As tempting as all that knowledge may seem, what they don’t tell you is that a good quarter of it is made up of information that you probably care nothing about. (Case in point. If this article appeals to you, sign up for DS right now.)

Besides, let’s be honest: almost no one does all the reading. (That “almost” was added after I read Maggie’s article. Maggie, I have ridiculous amounts of respect for you and your insanity now.) Ancient Greek authors don’t try to be interesting, and unless you have superhuman powers of concentration and willpower, you’re more likely than not to simply fall asleep at your desk.

Don’t get me wrong: there are at least a few books that you can’t help but love if you have even a passing affection for the humanities. But then there’s everything Aristotle wrote. The people who spend hours reading his work understand about as much of it as the people who don’t.

So really, what’s the point?

2. …you’ve always wanted to be part of a cult.

DS really is more than just a set of classes. If you’re a true DSer and someone brings up Plato, your face will light up and you’ll immediately plunge into a passionate discussion of your interpretation of the ascension of beauty. This is great and all, except for one minor detail: no one else cares. Seriously.

The same abstract philosophy terms that sounded so good in section fall flat in the real world. No one wants to listen about your discourse on the flaws in Homer. That is, no one but the other DS students. This unfortunate fact leads to an equally unfortunate phenomenon: put two DSers in a room with a group of other people, and they will almost immediately find each other and eagerly begin to rehash every detail of their last lecture as the rest of the room looks on with a mixture of bewilderment and pity.

Maggie already pointed out the plus side of this; having a discussion in a section where everyone cares about the same obscure philosophy topic is fascinating. As long as you truly care about the material, you’ll love the atmosphere and will fervently deny that it’s at all cultish to everyone else.

…but we all know the truth.

3. …you love stressing out over nothing.

It’s Wednesday afternoon, and you’ve just picked a topic for your essay. What have you been doing with your life? Why are you such a slacker? How are you ever going to manage to finish on time?

Oh wait, did I mention that it’s due Friday?

DS just sets you up to freak out. Having an essay hanging over your head the entire week isn’t the best way to enjoy your life, and if you’re prone to panic, you may well be a nervous wreck before the end of the first semester.

Of course, all this stress means that the best weeks of your year will be the ones when you don’t have an essay due. The best weeks…of your year. Wow. Do you really want to do that to yourself?

Advice to the determined DSer: Chill. A good six page essay doesn’t really take more than 6 to 8 hours to write. This means that you can start at 2 AM Friday morning and still finish on time. (With the extra hour spent checking despondent facebook statuses to see who else is awake. It’s a very bonding experience.) I don’t recommend starting that late, necessarily, but keep in mind that starting on Thursday afternoon (heaven forbid!) is not at all a big deal.

4. …you don’t want to open your blue book.

To be honest, this was at least partially my reasoning for taking DS: I had no idea what else to take, and the sheer number of classes available terrified me. A blend of humanities seemed like a nice, safe, enjoyable option.

Now, though, I’m totally jealous of the people I know who loved their classes freshman year, who picked a course on a whim and ended up finding a new passion. All I learned was that yeah, I like reading. Just not particularly about history or politics or philosophy. I would say that I genuinely loved two of my six sections; the rest were mediocre or flat out boring.

If you were counting on taking DS and haven’t looked at the other options available yet, please do. If you see some classes that you want to try, shop them! That’s what shopping period is all about, and you have a full week and a half to change your mind.
And for heaven’s sake, there’s a freshman seminar about food. If you can pick Hegel over food, then yes, you are a born DSer.

5. …you want this man as your professor.

I believe this speaks for itself. (Warning: strong language.)

All this said, if you’ve read Maggie’s article and think that this is what you want to do, go for it! Most people who last through both semesters (all 18 papers and every Thursday night full of panic and trepidation) love it and wouldn’t have changed a single thing about their freshman year for the world.

However, if you’re having second thoughts, keep your options open. Remember, nothing’s set in stone until shopping period is over. Pull out your blue book and flip through it, see if there’s anything else that appeals to you.

And most of all, whatever you do, enjoy your freshman year. Feel free to e-mail me (leah.rajaratnam@yale.edu) if you have any questions!